STOLEN APPLE:
Blog Drive resident, 7oneders, reported a stolen apple several weeks ago. Our department workload has slowed down progress on our investigations, but rest assured we have followed up on this report. Our crime scene investigators could not determine if the lost apple was a computer or a edible apple or a little of both.
Our resident Case Profiler, Sprite, has determined that the lost object could have been stolen by a Thief, perhaps a professional or a rank amateur. Other investigators concur. Another Case solved, thanks to the dedication of Precinct 13 personnel.
SOLITARY CONFINEMENT:
Miss Ginger, was arrested Saturday while playing an illegal version of the card game, Solitary. The accused put up a pretty good fight but after being subdued by 12 of our finest officers and a half gallon of mace used, she tamed right down.
However, after twelve hours in lockup, the prosecutor's office sent notification that Solitary is not an illegal game and the department must release Miss Ginger, ASAP. Officer O'Cheese spoke for the department upon her release.., "On the bright side, she will at least know not to play any games that are illegal. Like Parcheesi and Yard Hockey."
SUSPICIOUS FEMALE:
Our officers noticed a suspicious female who seemed to be minding her own business. No one minds their own business, and therefore makes for suspiciousness. After being frisked repeatedly -the suspicious female was released due to lack of evidence and or contraband. Miss Gigglesbee.., we have our eyes on you! Oh Boy! Do we have our eyes on you! Hubba Hubba Hubba
