STOLEN WEB TRAFFIC
A Blog Drive citizen,
AncoraImparo reported stolen web traffic on April 6, 2007.., or perhaps 2001.., the records were misplaced. We put in long man hours on this investigation with the very best minds at work and as a result, have come to the following conclusion; Indeed, someone stole her web traffic.
We urge the public to keep an eye out for anyone with more than their fair share of web traffic. Our profiler suggests the perpetrator wears sunshades, has a huge ego.., whoops! Misprint. We meant.., has a large EGGO. Please report suspicious persons at once. We do not take this type of heinous activity lying on our backs. We like to tell our lies standing up as well.
GIANT RABID CAT IN DISGUISE
We ask Blog Drive residents to beware of a giant rabid
cat disguised as a wolf. Was last seen at
Abby Normal's place chasing terrified kids away from their Easter Egg finds. We at Precinct 13 are very concerned that this cat may start pooping on your lawns. Which may or may not be okay as long as the poop is not bagged, placed on someone's door step and set fire to. If you do see a flaming bag on your porch step - do not step on it to put it out. Use of the hands is much more efficient.
BLOG DRIVE PETS, MENACED
Keep your pets indoors and set up security cams. It seems we have a hostile maniac who bites pet bunnies butts. This is one sick depraved individual. One of our units responded to such a call by a blog drive citizen,
Pudge. She had photographic evidence (posted on blog), unfortunately the picture only shows the wound, not the perp. We encourage Blog Drive denizens to watch out for each other in a unified "Neighborhood Brown Noser Comunity Watch" program.
Reminder: if you have any suspicious activity to report - feel free to contact us. We cant be everywhere at once. We could, but the doctors wont prescribe those kinds of drugs. Just furnish the Blog Address and related information.
